Today's post is dedicated to those dreadful spam emails. I can not stand them and I know I'm not the only one. They're annoying. They're unwanted. They're hated.
I've had emails about my email winning the online lottery. Or emails from people overseas telling me if I just give them my bank account info, they'd deposit millions of dollars in it. Ha! Yeah, I'm giving my info to a bunch of strangers. NOT! And the troubling thing is people really fall for this! What about the emails mentioning the spam email victim compensation? That's hilarious to me. Spam email targeting spam emails. HAHAHA!
And I can't forget the emails that have women who want to cheat on their hubbies or women who want men with big...you know what I'm talking about. Or the ones with the penis growth pills. It would probably sound tempting...IF I WERE A MAN! Ugh!
Remember the Jack Prelutsky poem, Homework! Oh Homework? Well, in honor of the annoyance that is the spam email, I present to you, Spam Mail! Oh Spam Mail.
S is for Spam Emails
Tickle-Me Tuesday
A joke emailed to me this week...
Joey's dad invited Rev. & Mrs. Brown to dinner. Joey's mom made an extra-special meal. It was Joey's job to set the table with the good china and silver.
As everyone sat down to eat, Joey's mom said, "Joey, dear, you forgot to set a knife and fork for Mrs. Brown."
"I didn't think I needed to," Joey explained. "I heard Daddy say she eats like a horse."
Kids say the darndest things, don't they?
Tickle-Me Tuesday
Joke emailed to me:
A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Just a Question
Does anyone know how to get rid of these annoying spam-mails...emails like the following:
Hello,We believe this notification will meet you in a very good present state of mind and health. The ______ in conjunction with _________ and other Investigation Agencies here in ______ like ________ ...have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a transaction going on with the ________ Bank of _______ as regard to your over-due payment which was fully endorsed in your favour accordingly. It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all fact and of which you have the lawful right to claim Your fund without any further delay. Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the _______ Bank office accordingly as we will be monitoring all their services with you as well as your correspondence at all level...
The email goes on and on. I've been getting tons of them in my inbox (and spam box) and it's really annoying! I've tried ignoring them, but now, it's out of control. Here's another example:
Dear in Christ.
PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD BECAUSE IT IS A VOW I MADE BEFORE GOD.
I am _______ from ______. I am married to _____ who worked with _______ in cote d'ivoire for nine years before he died last year.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of ( 25 Million U.S. Dollars ) with one BANK in ______.Presently, this money is still in the BANK. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct he/she here in...
Believe me, I can go all day posting these kinds of emails. Wanna know how annoying & bad it is? I'm thinking about getting a whole new email account and closing the one I have (but it's too much work to change emails with the groups I belong to). PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! Any suggestions?
