- You go out of your way to see or hang out with that person.
- You are starting to worry more about your appearance.
- When writing a list of positives and negatives about that person, the positives win...by a landslide.
- You find yourself being clumsy or awkward around them.
- You find yourself getting tunnel vision (you can't focus on anything but this person).
- They are not around and you find yourself smiling.
- You start asking his friends about him.
- Your friends are getting sick of you talking about her.
- For some reason, you can not stop teasing this person.
- You hate going to your Physics class but lately you don't seem to mind.
Of course, growing up, I had celeb crushes. There was Kirk Camron, Michael J. Fox, Al. B. Sure, Christopher Williams, and Michael Jackson (during his Thriller days...actually, I LOVED him in Smooth Criminal). My biggest celeb crush was Wanye (pronounced Wahn-yay) Morris of Boyz II Men (pictured below in the red cap). Wanye, of the gorgeous smile and the smooth voice (I've always loved guys who can sing). I just knew I'd meet him and we'd fall madly in love, get married and have cute little babies with gorgeous smiles and beautiful voices. Ha!
I remember my first real crush, though. At 15, I had a mad crush on an older guy. He was about 2-3yrs older than me, cute, tall, went to church...what more could I ask for, right? The only thing going against him was he rooted for the Lakers in the '91 NBA Finals. I was a Bulls girl at heart. Of course, the Bulls won. But I digress. I was so willing to look over the fact that he didn't root for my beloved Michael Jordan (another celeb crush of mine). I was shy, especially around cutie pies, so the fact that he actually paid attention to me made me crush even harder. Those top ten ways? Yeah, that was me. Except, I was already clumsy, so it wasn't just him. I didn't tease him cos I was too shy to talk to him, although we did have a few conversations. I didn't ask his friends about him (again cos of my shyness). And he wasn't in any of my classes. We didn't even attend the same school.
My diary, the only diary I have left, is filled with his name. "____ smiled at me today!" "He looked soooo good!" "Does he like me?" I'm sure both my bffs (I had a church bff and a high school bff) got tired of hearing about him, though they never said anything, bless their hearts. My high school bff and I wrote letters to each other (before the days of texting) since we only had one class together. I still have the letters she wrote back to me. And guess whose name is in some of them? Yep. My crush. It was all about _____. When he talked to me...flirted with me? He so made my day! The times he hugged me? OMG, I was done for! I even got a nice slow dance out of it. I went home that night on cloud nine. Sadly, nothing ever came of my crush (much to my chagrin...my poor little teenage heart).
I read those letters and my diary now and think, "Gah! I was soooo....ugh!" I can't even think of the word. Can't believe I was so obsessed about him. At that time, I thought I was being inconspicuous about it. Surely he didn't know how much I crushed on him? Clearly now, I know I wasn't so good at hiding my infatuation with this dude. He knew. I'm turning red with embarrassment now just thinking about it.
As a writer, not only do I use today's teens to help with my characters, but I also go back to my teen days. The times have changed, but those teenage problems and emotions are still the same. It's all apart of being a teen. In the YA I'm writing, Treasure, my main character, has a crush on one of her classmates. She, like me, is shy around this guy. I'm going back to my 15 year-old self...remembering those feelings, the embarrassment, the heartbreak...I'm having so much fun with this, it should be a crime. I'm not the first and only female who's crushed on someone. Nor will I be the last one. I think it's safe to say that "the crush" is a normal part of growing up.
So, tell me. Do you remember your first crush?
