51 - 101 of 101 Ways to Annoy People
http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Misc-Jokes/101-Ways-To-Annoy-People.html
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Tickle-Me Tuesday
Inspirational Sunday
Thomas Merton
Rae’s Thought: Sometimes, following Jesus can get downright scary. I don’t always know where I’m going. I don’t know what I’ll encounter on the way. I can’t even see the road ahead of me. So many uncertainties while walking with the Lord.
One thing I can be certain of, though, is that He is right there with me, leading me where I need to go. It’s not in His plans for me to be harmed. He only wants what’s best for me. He wants to give me a future and hope (Jeremiah 29:11). And during the times I feel lost, all I have to do is call to Him and He’ll listen…seek Him and I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:12 – 13).
So, yeah, I don’t know where I’m going. I surely can’t see the road ahead of me, nor do I know where it will end. Am I scared? Nah. Am I anxious? Nope. Terrified? Not that either. Why not? I’ve got a Guide who knows all and sees all. I trust in His ability to lead me in the right direction. He’s led gazillions of people on their personal paths and haven’t lost one yet. Something tells me it’ll be that way for eternity.
If I focus on Him, those uncertainties won’t even matter. I don’t really want to know what’s ahead, anyway. To me, finding out what’s going to happen in my future is like finding out what’s going to happen at the end of a book or movie…before I even get a chance to read or watch it for the first time. Takes the excitement out of it.
I’m excited about my journey with Jesus. It won’t be boring, I’ll tell you that. I’m ready to buckle my seat belt, put my eyes on Him, and let Him take me on the wildest, most exciting ride of my life. Care to join?
Fitness Friday
Another pound gone away! Yay me! My goal for my first month (March 19h - April 18th) was to lose at least 4 pounds (one pound/week). I am more than halfway there, with 2 weeks left. I've lost a total of 3 pounds in 2 weeks...the safe way, of course.
What did I do differently? Changed my way of thinking and put God into the equation. I've asked Him to help me with my weight loss journey. I know...shoulda did this earlier. *Sigh* Doesn't matter, I'm doing it now and He's doing just what I asked. I've had the will power to turn away unhealthy snacks (sometimes, but, hey, we're allowed ice cream every once in awhile). I've also had the strength to workout everyday this week. So yeah, I'm getting results...and I'm feeling good. YIPPEE!
MONTHLY GOAL
OVERALL GOAL
Random Thoughts Thursday
TAKS Test. So, next Tuesday, every 5th grader in the state of Texas will take the Math TAKS test. Both teachers and students have been preparing this whole year for this test. I've been working as a Math support teacher (extra help for those who struggle in Math) and have watched some of my kids struggle big time. They try so hard, but it's not clicking for some reason. It breaks my heart to see their frustration. I feel their pain...I really do. Math was my weakest subject. It still is. I struggled with math to the point of tears and frustration...disliked it since about the 6th grade. I'm only now, at 32, getting to the point of maybe liking it.
- Parents: This isn't an easy test. Try to make things a little easier for you 'babies' around this time. They've been working hard to get to this point and anything can hurt their chances of doing their best job.
- Teachers: The time has come. You've worked hard getting your students ready. Now, it's up to them. You've done all you can. Don't stress (won't help you, so what's the point).
- Students: You've worked hard for this. Remember, you are bigger than this test. Don't let it beat you. YOU CAN CONQUER IT! It's time to show everyone what you're made of. Go do your thing!
All students are in my prayers. I've given it to God, so should you. The rest of the TAKS dates are: April 7 - Grade 5 Math (English and Spanish) Grade 8 Math ; April 28 - Grades 3–4 Math (English and Spanish) Grade 6 Math (English and Spanish) Grade 7 Math Grade 10 Math; April 29 - Grade 4 Reading (English and Spanish) Grade 6 Reading (English and Spanish) Grade 7 Reading Exit Level Math; April 30 - Grade 8 Science Grade 9 Mathematics Grade 10 Science Exit Level Science; and May 1 - Grade 8 Social Studies Grade 10 Social Studies Exit Level Social Studies.
Dora's New Look. http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/03/06/2009-03-06_dora_the_explorer_dolls_get_controversia.html
I'm not going to go on a rant about this. I won't do it. Nope, you can't make me...
Parents opposed to the aging of Dora (she's 10 in this pic) says she looks too sexy. Ooookaaaay. They say she looks like a 'streetwalker' and a 'sexed-up version of a children's icon.' Really? 'Cause I don't see it. Some people are riled up because she's growing up. She's dressed just like any other tween girl her age. It's hard to think about, but, yes, girls are wearing lip gloss at 10 years old. Heck, I've seen 1st grade girls wearing lip gloss. Not saying it's right, it's just the way things are. Girls grow up. Can the girls who've watched her since they were infants get someone who looks like them now?
I don't know. I really don't see the problem. To me, they're making a big deal over nothing. The Rugrats had to grow up...why can't Dora? Can someone explain it to me?
Tickle-Me Tuesday
1 - 50 of 101 Ways to Annoy People (51-101 next week)
http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Misc-Jokes/101-Ways-To-Annoy-People.html
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Inspirational Sunday
Chris Tomlin
Rae’s Thought: One of my favorite songs is Chris Tomlin’s, ‘How Great is Our God.’ The whole song – from the words to the music, beginning to end – captures how magnificent God is. He wraps himself in light, and darkness tries to hide, and trembles at his voice…Age to age he stands, and time is in his hands, beginning and the end… Every time I hear this song, I end up with tears in my eyes, worshipping and praising God.
He is awesome isn’t he? He’s created a masterpiece (this universe) with his tender hands and voice. Now, humans can create some pretty cool things, but NOTHING compares to making an entire universe. I’d like to see someone try to get even close to it (you can’t, btw). And how about the fact that His name is so powerful, just saying it makes things happen? Not even the most recognized names on the planet can have that power. I mean, demons and Satan himself trembles at the name. When Satan is bothering you, try saying your name. He’ll probably laugh all throughout hell at the thought of the human who thinks he’s (or she’s) somebody. Oh, but say the name of Jesus and Satan will run and cower in a corner like a scared puppy.
Why is God awesome to you? What has He done for you? Think of all the blessings, big and small, that God has bestowed upon you. Having a hard time? How about the fact that you’re alive? You may think that alarm clock or person woke you up, but it was God. What about the fact that the planets, stars, sun, and moons are suspended in air with nothing (visible) holding them up? That’s not magic, y’all…it’s God. The fact that you’re reading this? Yep, God. Plants, animals, trees, nature = God. Your job, clothes, car, etc…all God. And even if you’re without a job, God is still keeping you in His capable hands. Let’s not forget the fact the sacrifice on Calvary. He did not have to do it, but He loved us so much…
Don’t let this week go by without you thinking about God and His awesomeness…and when you’re done, thank and praise Him. He’s worth that and more.
Fitness Friday
Last week, I said I was changing my focus with my weight loss journey - moving my focus from the weight to God. I started this approach last Thursday, where I have a daily scripture and affirmation to meditate on. I've changed my way of thinking (all positive; no negative). Apparently it's working because I've lost 2 lbs in one week, which isn't bad for that amount of time. I'm still watching what I eat and working out.
Speaking of workouts, my new neighborhood has a sand volleyball court. I'm soooooo happy about that, since I LOVE playing volleyball. When we lived with our parents, my sister and I would just volley the ball back and forth as a workout since they didn't have a court/net. But now...oh yeah, we're about to get our workout on! And playing volleyball in the sand is an even better workout than regular v-ball. Yeah, baby!
I finally did the Laila Ali/Sugar Ray Leonard boxing workout. It's not on the same level of, say the TaeBo vids as far as production is concerned (not bad, though), but, to me, it's still a good workout. I haven't done the advanced dvd yet. Sugar Ray motivates throughout, but Laila does most of the talking (maybe her name should go first...but then, Sugar Ray is a bigger name). I'm working my way up to the heavyweight dvd (gotta get through the lightweight dvd first).
