"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38 - 39
Rae's Thought: Have you ever been tired? I mean, really, tired - physically, mentally, and spiritually - where you barely have any energy left. Not long ago, I felt exactly like this. I felt like my life's gage was way past 'E' and I was running on fumes. To make matters worse, instead of drawing close to God, I'd pulled away, which is so not a good place to be. I'd finally gotten to a point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired (I know it's cliche, but that's how I felt). I went to God, head bowed, heart heavy, and tears running down my face...ashamed. He led me to this paragraph in Sarah Young's book, Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence: "When you are dissatisfied with your behavior, you tend to feel unworthy of My Love. You may unconsciously punish yourself by withdrawing from Me..."
God showed me that I'd felt so guilty for being spiritually tired, that I'd become depressed. I felt that, as a victorious child of God, I had no business feeling down or growing weary. I mean, I had the Lord on my side and was filled with the Holy Spirit. Children of God are supposed to keep right on moving through the pain, right? The fact that I was exhausted and questioning God weighed in on me so much, that I'd withdrawn from God.
After God showed me the root of the problem, He showed me the following points:
- The feeling of guilt is not of God. Jesus came to earth to free us from sin and the guilt that comes along with it. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" (John 3:17). The feelings of guilt and condemnation come from one being and one being only: Satan. I'd allowed Satan in my head by letting him plant the question, "What kind of Christian are you?" I felt like I'd let myself down, but more importantly, I'd let God down. And because of this, I felt I didn't deserve to be in His presence. When feelings of guilt try to weave its way in your mind, recognize it for what it really is...an enemy attack. Do NOT allow him into your mind.
- We don't deserve to be in His presence. The truth of the matter is, none of us deserve to be in God's presence. We're all sinfully wretched beings, who deserve nothing but death...but God still loves us. What's so awesome about His grace and mercy is not only does He keep us from getting what we do deserve (eternal damnation; slavery to sin; etc), but He also gives us what we don't deserve (eternal life; His love; etc).
- You will grow weary. Yes, we will get tired every once in a while. It's a part of life. The difference between the children of God and unbelievers is we have someone to go to when we're tired.
- NOTHING will make God stop loving us. Not our sins. Not our thoughts. Not our feelings of guilt. Not even Satan. God loves us for eternity, and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. We may feel unworthy, but He feels we're worthy enough to die for.
The paragraph in Young's book continued, "...I am aching to hold you in My everlasting arms, to enfold you in My love. When you are feeling unworthy or unloved, come to Me." While I pulled away from God, He stood by my side, with His arms opened wide, waiting for me to notice Him. The wonderful thing is, He kept waiting. He never gave up on me.
Isn't He amazing?