Tickle-Me Tuesday

In honor of the class of 2010!

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
Robert Orben

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Gary Bolding

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
Garry Trudeau

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.
Norm Crosby

At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.
Paul Freund

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the 'C' students, I say you too may one day be President of the United States.
George W. Bush, US President

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
Theodore Roosevelt, US President

If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.
Robert Goheen, President, Princeton University